Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Remember When Fat was Fun?

The brilliant illustrator Rob Sheridan created Cereal Mascot Reunion a few years ago to show that "things are never as good as they used to be."

Apparently Rob is a bit of a psychic. Imagine the depression poor Cap'n Crunch and Tony the Tiger must be feeling now that the White House wants them banned from future marketing.

But hey, if that's what it takes to stop the runaway fat kids train, then so be it.

According to the Wall Street Journal, "A new 120-page report released Tuesday by the White House says food companies should extend their current self-imposed regulations to cover all forms of marketing to children, and food retailers should avoid in-store marketing that promotes unhealthy products to children. It says all media and entertainment companies should limit the licensing of their popular characters to food and beverage products that are healthy."

Finally, sanity reigns supreme. The chubby crisis is all but over. And it was so freakishly easy: Just get the evil marketers to kill off or otherwise transition their popular characters into health nuts and everyone will be thin and healthy. No more plump pubescents, no more obese babies, no more chunky children. Karen Carpenter would be proud.

Thank you Federal Government. Thank you White House. Thank you First Lady Michelle Obama.

1 comment:

  1. Maybe the tobacco industry can start using cereal mascots now to sell cigarettes now that the focus is on obesity and not nicotine addiction (which oddly helps often to keep weight down).

    "Tony the Tiger says Marlboros are Grrrrreeeeeaaaaat."

    "Why are they always after my Lucky Strikes?" laments the leprauchan.

    "Silly Rabbit, Tareytons are for kids!"